You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
