I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
