NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
