Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
