we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
