Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
