Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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