So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
