The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Your cock deserves a montage
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
