It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
