he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
