I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
