Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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