i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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