I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
