Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
