I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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