Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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