Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
