I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize