I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize