Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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