Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Your cock deserves a montage
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
