I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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