I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
