Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
