Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
