dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
