I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
