Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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