my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize