Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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