I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize