We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
