you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
