told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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