..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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