I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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