this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
