ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
