Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
