Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
