She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
