return my video game
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
