So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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