You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
