Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
