literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
MIDGETS
????
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
