She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
