nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
