accomplished twins. life is a go
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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