Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
