Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
