My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
this boner is exhausting
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize