ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
