the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
