At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
