sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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