Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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