I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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