Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
