K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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