No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
