good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
