Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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