I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
